Dearest Mother of Mine,

It is still quite difficult to believe that you are gone from this earth. How can it be that on March 15 you will be spending your second birthday up in Heaven among the Angels, instead of down here on earth with me? This time of year is especially difficult for me, even more so than just spending the Christmas holidays without you. Just a few weeks ago it was the second anniversary of your death, and here it is your birthday.

Altho unlike me you were never big on parties and celebrations, there is no doubt that on this day you and I would at least be enjoying a big slice of chocolate cake. Even while you were in the nursing home I made sure that there was a cake big enough for you to share with everyone else.

If you would have lived you would have been 82 today. For some reason before your death you kept asking me how many days were left until your birthday. Why did you suddenly become so interested in and anxious about your 80th birthday? I cannot help but think that perhaps you sensed that you would never make it to that day.

As I did last year, I have decided to have your birthday card have a St. Patty's Day flair as well. I know how very proud you were to be Irish. I think I will keep this as a tradition on your website.

As I was this year on the anniversary of your death, I will be working this year as well, on your birthday. I still am in shock that I actually got called back to my old job but I am not getting too excited about being there. Instead, I am concentrating on saving as much money as I can before the tables turn on me once again. Working on these difficult anniversaries does help a great deal, altho the pain and the grief remains deep within my heart. At least you are here with me forever within your small bronze box, and we can still be together for days like these as well as all of the rest.

Happy birthday, mom! I hope that you are ever so happy up there in Heaven having a wonderful day among those that went to Heaven long before you. As I do always, I shall be looking up into the sky and blowing sweet, tender kisses to the clouds upon which you now walk. I miss you with all of my heart and long for the day when I can hold you and celebrate just being with you once again.

All of my love forever,
Ellen XXXXX